Does the Derailed Executive Want to Change?

There's an old joke: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

The answer is just one, but the lightbulb has to want to be changed.

Before you can help a derailed executive you have to determine if they want to change.

The other evidence the person doing the coaching should look for is if the derailed executive makes the initial coaching session very short and really isn't willing to open up and take risks. If this happens, that person is usually a poor candidate for coaching, and I let the company know. That way I don’t waste my time or the company's money.

A couple things happen in those first coaching sessions with a derailed executive who is coachable. In most cases the derailed executive tells me they want to be changed. They say things like, "I don’t want to be seen as a bully. I don’t want to be seen as a negative. I don’t want people to think I am a prima donna."

There are three types of responses derailed executives have:

1. The first is the type that acknowledges there is a discrepancy between the view other people have of them and what they have of themselves. These derailed executives put it out there that they do want to be become the best leader or executive they can be. They just don't know how to change, what to say or what to do.

2. While that's the majority, there are is a minority percentage who are skeptical because they're scared. These executives have worked with other people before and they want to know how working with an executive coach will make any difference.

3. A small fraction of derailed executive are a combination. Sometimes I don’t know what I'm going to say until I've tried a few things and see what hits the mark with this group.

A question I sometimes as during a structured interview is, "At your retirement dinner, what do you want people to say about you? At your funeral, what do you hope the mourners would say?”

Helping Prodigal Executives Get Back on Track With Feedback

In my book about derailed executives, The Prodigal Executive, I use Mark’s story to illustrate the point. His goal was to be a leader of his company. This is the goal he wanted to reach, but he kept getting off course. Like his own personal career GPS, I assisted him to find his way.

Mark (real story, not his real name) was a very bright, articulate, engaging and ambitious senior leader. He was educated at one of the finest universities in engineering. He thought like an engineer and had a long impressive resume with major international manufacturing companies. When I met Mark, I was called in to provide coaching to upgrade his skills so he could be part of the leadership of the company.

After a 360 degree feedback survey, the message back from his direct reports was that he did not show enough strength as a leader. He was not decisive enough to make tough decisions. Therefore, he allowed too many people issues to slide by. The result was resentment. Since he was trained as an engineer, he had not taken the time to develop his emotional intelligence.

Now Mark could have given up and just accepted a technical role in the organization.

During our coaching, I suggested to him that being stronger was part of being an effective leader. Showing strength was going to be critical. Since he truly wanted to be a leader, he took risks. As we worked together I kept giving him signals if he was on course or of course. There was one situation where he actually stopped an interview because he felt it was a waste of time for everyone. He stopped the interview with professionalism, but the message to his team was that he was strong enough. His leadership capital increased exponentially.