Does the Derailed Executive Want to Change?

There's an old joke: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

The answer is just one, but the lightbulb has to want to be changed.

Before you can help a derailed executive you have to determine if they want to change.

The other evidence the person doing the coaching should look for is if the derailed executive makes the initial coaching session very short and really isn't willing to open up and take risks. If this happens, that person is usually a poor candidate for coaching, and I let the company know. That way I don’t waste my time or the company's money.

A couple things happen in those first coaching sessions with a derailed executive who is coachable. In most cases the derailed executive tells me they want to be changed. They say things like, "I don’t want to be seen as a bully. I don’t want to be seen as a negative. I don’t want people to think I am a prima donna."

There are three types of responses derailed executives have:

1. The first is the type that acknowledges there is a discrepancy between the view other people have of them and what they have of themselves. These derailed executives put it out there that they do want to be become the best leader or executive they can be. They just don't know how to change, what to say or what to do.

2. While that's the majority, there are is a minority percentage who are skeptical because they're scared. These executives have worked with other people before and they want to know how working with an executive coach will make any difference.

3. A small fraction of derailed executive are a combination. Sometimes I don’t know what I'm going to say until I've tried a few things and see what hits the mark with this group.

A question I sometimes as during a structured interview is, "At your retirement dinner, what do you want people to say about you? At your funeral, what do you hope the mourners would say?”